Last night, on Facebook of course, because all the good fights happen there, a family member of ours said some very hurtful and untrue things. This family member chose to equate someone who lives with PTSD to someone who is unable or unwilling to deal with the world and they then went on to say that life happens and "just don't focus on the negative". Now. I'm sure that those of you who have PTSD or live with someone who has PTSD has heard this drivel before. I'm here to say, it's pure unadulterated bullshit. It's not just bullshit, it's bullshit with a capital B-.
My husband, who is the center of my world, has PTSD and not just PTSD, but combat-related PTSD. He has flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, depression and many other psychological issues. However, he is also physically disabled, as well. I could list all of his physical manifestations, but I think the psychological gives you a pretty good idea of what he deals with just on that end, on a daily basis. I look at that list and I think about all he has to deal with just to wake up in the morning and face the day and I think to myself, how the hell does he do it? Well, folks, inner strength is how he does it. He has an insane will to live and an insane will to overcome this beast of burden that shadows over our everyday lives. He doesn't always win the fight, though. There are some days when all he can do is sit on the couch and stare at the tv and that's okay. The universal truth is that no one wins everyday. We can only do our best.
His best is 100 times harder to meet than an average person's best. His PTSD also presents memory issues and an inability to decipher what is real and what is not. I'm sure you can see how this can lead to a whole hell of a lot of frustration. But, you know what? He does all he can do to keep that frustration from turning on us, his family. He fights every day to do things that normally people think very little about. A trip to the grocery store is fraught with all kinds of challenges. If the store is crowded, then his anxiety is amplified, because crowds and PTSD do not mix. If the store does not have exactly what we need at the time, then his frustration is amplified and not just because of the inconvenience, but because small annoyances are amplified with PTSD. If the kids are misbehaving while we shop, then his tension level is higher, because what seems like normal misbehaving kid behavior becomes an even bigger issue with PTSD.
So, no, having PTSD does not mean that a person is unable or unwilling to face the world. It means that the person who has PTSD has to fight that much harder to be a part of a world that doesn't make sense to them. PTSD alienates and it makes the person who has it have to adjust to fit in. PTSD does not equal weak. Living with PTSD means strength.
