Isolation

One of the hardest parts of PTSD, in our experience, is how isolating it is. Some of the symptoms of the condition, according to the VA's website are:

1. Feeling numb:

You may find it hard to express your feelings. This is another way to avoid memories.

• You may not have positive or loving feelings toward other people and may stay away from relationships.
• You may not be interested in activities you used to enjoy.
• You may not be able to remember parts of the traumatic event or not be able to talk about them.

And some of the problems are:

*Drinking or drug problems.

* Feelings of hopelessness, shame, or despair.

*Employment problems.


*Relationships problems including divorce and violence.


*Physical symptoms.


http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/what-is-ptsd.asp


In my husband's case, his PTSD never manifested itself in drinking or drugs, but the other problems (excluding violence) yeah, you bet. It was.... confusing. I had no idea why he was acting the way that he did and I had no one I could talk to about it. And I'll tell you why. It's very, very easy to demonize the person suffering from PTSD, because of the outburts, because of the anger, because of the withdrawal and because of the deep seated issues that they deal with that aren't visible. What's hard to do is to understand them. Family members and by that I mean extended family who are not around on a daily basis, often fail to understand or even try to understand the situation.


For us, this means that well.... we don't talk to my husband's family that often, if at all. As for my family, they try. They mean well, but they don't get it. They don't see what we live with and they don't see the struggles that we fight. The struggles that my husband fights and he fights hard. The emotional detachment makes it seem like he doesn't care about what is said about him or how people treat him, but it's not the case, at all. This lack of understanding, this lack of caring makes it so hard to connect to someone, to share your lives with them. There is only so hard you can push for understanding. There is a limit and with my husband's family, that limit has been reached. Over and over again and now it's just too much.


As for friendships, and as I write this, I'm scoffing to myself, they just don't happen. There is a shame and a stigma associated with PTSD. With all depressive/mental disorders, really. In a friendship, with a person who hasn't experienced PTSD, there are just things that you can't talk about. Those things are well, your life. It's hard to have a friendship with someone who just doesn't get it. In the brief friendships that I have had, there has been a lot of miscommunication and a lot of misconceptions. It just doesn't work. The best support that I have found is in people who have lived through similar experiences. Well, and internet friends. I lurve my internet friends.


I guess my point in all of this is isolation is one of those rare but serious side effects that people don't disclose to you with you or your partner's diagnosis. Educating my family or friends on PTSD is tiring and at the end of the day, I have energy for my husband, my kids and occasionally me.